We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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