Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
