Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
