you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
