Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
