I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
