She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
