i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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