Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
