So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
