I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
