that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
