So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
party gras won. party gras always wins.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
