i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He's a Shit stain on my heart
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
