no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
