sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
