I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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