I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I forget how to act sober
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
