don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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