i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
