Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Come on in and take your pants off
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