My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
