Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Im part way to drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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