found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
