she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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