i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
