I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
