i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
