We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
