just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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