Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
How external is "for external use only"?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
