I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
