before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
