if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
