I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
