we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
