I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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