I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
