I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
