I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
