my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
