Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
His hands were made for my vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
