ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
