Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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