I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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