great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
