that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
