Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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