Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
