Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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