he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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