im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Send help, water and tortillas.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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