i permit you to call me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
