If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
