Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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