I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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