you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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