her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
3pm strippers are depressing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
