There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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