Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
look no pants
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
