Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
