So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
only if we run a train.
done.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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