I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
