I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize