While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
