WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
