I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She's the barista slut.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
