you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
